• So me and my fiance have been together for almost a year, on December 6th, and we're planning on getting married in Feb or March. He's in the navy, and he went on his first deployment in mid march and got back august 1st. Then left again October 16th, and won't be back until end of Jan. I know technically we haven't been around each other alot, but we're living together, and we cannot stand to be apart. We broke up for a month, and we both went crazy and got back together as soon as we could. We both know we want to spend forever with the other, but I'm just wanting opinions. Any answer won't change my mind, but I'm just curious what other people think. Do you think it's to soon? Or if we feel ready should we take the plunge? Also, we both want a kid, and we've never felt like this with anyone else before.


  • How old are you? If you are under twenty-two you simply are not mature enough to make this kind of commitment. I have seen too many friends commit this mistake. The only person I know that got married young and was still married twenty years attributed it to being bound together by their faith in God.


  • That's for You Two- to Decide... Because when it comes to Lovers, the ONLY "too"- are TWO; - between You & Him ! :)


  • get counseling first.


  • You guys need some counseling. You've hardly been together and you've also broke up once? Not a good recepie for a marriage.


  • I think you should take some more time before you get married. Sometimes after you've been together a lot (like everyday for a year) thing start to change a little bit and you go through a little bit of a rough patch and if you get through that I think that's when your ready for marriage.


  • You're only 21.....way to soon. Live your life....there are so many things to do and experience before you settle down.


  • Ohhhhhh too funny. Way too funny. Do you guys know your walking stereotypes? I guess you probably don't realize it.

    Here's a fun mind game. You pretend like your in the future and your talking to your future daughter who is your age and in your exact situation right now and you're all grown up and wiser...Still with me?...ok, you daughter comes to you and asks you this same question, what do you tell her?


  • If you both love each other you go for it.


  • I was a few months shy of 21 when I married, and we had been together for a year. We never broke up though... and the fact that you did makes me think it would be wiser to wait a little bit longer just to be sure. Depending on the reason for the breakup, there may be something one of you should work on before you go all in for marriage.


  • First of how old are you two? If you are still young then don't rush into it. Make sure that after the beginning lust for each other wears off you still want to be together. I felt like this with my boyfriend too when I was younger. We are still together six years later and are planning our wedding now! I'm not saying wait that long before marriage but give it al least another year. Take time to really get to know one another because marriage is a big deal and once you say I do that means you have each other for life.


  • DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU ITS WRONG!!!!!! no one is in your shoes now!!! you both know how you feel about eachother! if you both feel ready now ...do it!! and marriage is hard but its also a wonderful thing!! so listen to your hearts!! and congratulations and good luck!! hope this helps


  • Only you can know what's in your heart and how to follow it. I can tell you that when I met the man I ended up marrying, I knew it right away. But it's not like that for everyone, it's different because all people are different. You are the only one that can make that desicion! Get counseling before you get married. We did and it was wonderful because we got to know each other even more, in ways we hadn't thought of before. It has helped us with everything from working out problems to planning a budget.


  • I understand just knowing and being 20 and getting married. I'm that girl too. But I'm curious as to why you broke up for that month? Honestly only the two of you can decided, but don't rush. Yes I see the PROS for getting married but their are CONS as well. You two really haven't been together that long, but then again it's more beneficial. Technically it shouldn't come down to a pros and cons list but you have to think about those. Just give yourself a few months to think on it. Like I said ... no rush. If you ever think no way do I want to do this or anything like that then put it off for sure.

    Good Luck


  • What's the rush. Being married isn't as romantic as it's made out to be. It's ALOT of work and takes great commitment (not just being faithful, but a commitment to endure each other, support each other, and being there even when every bone in your body wants to walk away). I know you are probably thinking you would never feel that way towards your special guy, but trust me if you spend a lifetime with him you definitely will hit that time, probably more than once. And he will too. Having a deep friendship is very important as love will come and go. Anyway, my point is why do you guys want to get married so fast? What's the reason for not just being together and experiencing life together. You already live together. Getting married won't change anything, except block the exit door. If I were you I would wait just a little longer. You haven't really had time to know each other really well, since he's been on leave so much.

    However, if you do choose to do it I wish you guys the best. Good Luck and Congrats!


    Also, having a kid is actually the bigger deal than the marriage. It changes EVERYTHING!!!! Kids are sooo much work. Well worth it, but tons of work. It changes the way you feel about your hunny, the way you look at them, the time you get together, the things you do together. I mean everything changes! No more stopping for a quick soda at a convience store, you don't want to get the baby out. No more going out to movies, infact no movies at home either....unless it's Shrek or Wall-E. No more spontaneous sex in the livingroom. No more subway or sub shop, you'll be hitting those drive threws....don't wanna get the baby out. No more painting your toes, getting ready for an hour...you won't have time. No more cute shirts, they'll have spit up all over them anyway. No more spending money on DVDs, purses, shoes, or CDs....you gotta buy diapers and rattles.

    I know it sounds like I am ranting, but seriously when I had my first son I was shocked at how much my life changed. I never for a second thought that my husband and I's relationship would change. People would tell me that and I would say, "not ours". Ha ha! I was wrong. It just changes everything. In good ways of course, but also in ways that take a lot of adjusting. If you are going to go ahead and get married at least wait for the kid. And people are right about the counseling. It shouldn't be called counseling. It makes it sound bad. But all premarriage counseling is, is someone who asks you guys a bunch of questions about what each of your expectations are about each other in all of the roles you will encounter as married people. Some topics include,
    Money-
    who makes what
    how to save
    how will it get spent
    Dreams-
    asspirations
    goals
    how will these be accomplished
    what kind of sacrafices will you have to make
    Kids-
    discipline
    who will be primary caregiver
    what is considered spoiling
    what kind of food will they eat
    healthcare concerns
    Domestic-
    who will clean house
    who will do the yard
    who will decorate
    where will you live
    where will you settle down - will you settle down
    There's a lot of things that come up when you are married. You probably won't think to discuss these things, since most people don't realize they can cause issues. Counseling helps highlight these issues so you can work them out before they arise.

    I would recommend doing it. It proably is covered under is insurance, and it would pay for you since you are future wife.

    We did it and it was good. If you can't do it at least look online for quizes or questions to ask before getting married and discuss them together, honestly. Years ago Dr. Phil had some on his site. I don't know if they are still there, but it's worth checking out.

    Good Luck again!


  • you are both very young. I think he needs to complete his service obligation and have a year to readjust to life as a civilian before he marries and then wait at least 2 years after the wedding to become a stable couple before you consider a child.


  • How old are you? How old is he? It is more a question of maturity than of the amount of time you have spent together. Whatever you do, don't have a child until you are both certain of the commitment. It might be great for the two of you, but it will be hell for the child if the relationship ends prematurely.


  • i know a couple who dated for 6 months, and got married and have been for 35 years.. happily.. but i think it just depends on the couple.. Buena Suerte :)


  • If no answer will change your mind then its not important what anyone else thinks, you go ahead and enjoy your life, respect each other above all things and be happy.
    Good luck.


  • you dont need counseling...my parents knew eachother 3 months before they got married...they are still together...follow your heart


  • no its not too soon. me and my husband where together exactly a year when we got married and we are very happy.


  • I went to college with several girls who were engaged to military men. Out of 5, only 1 had been with the guy for more than a year. Another got engaged after knowing each other for only a month (I'll never understand that). I won't go into detail on these, but none of them ended well.

    Honestly, I think you can get to know someone well in a year if you spend a lot of time together and you communicate well. But when someone has been away for long periods of time like your fiance has, it just doesn't work the same. Yes you miss each other and you can communicate via internet or phone, but it's not the same as having that close personal relationship all the time. You get to know how someone is from a distance, not how that person is up close all the time.

    Yes, I know that you have spent several lengthy periods of time together, but it's not the same as being around each other constantly over a period of time. I hope that what I'm saying makes sense.

    Yes, I do believe that you are both getting married far too soon, but I hope that you can be the "exception to the rule" (or the pattern at least) of what I have seen in the past.

    Good luck to you both.


  • If you both feel ready and you have family anf friends who will give you support if you need it then go ahead no-one but you can tell you it's right. i moved to another state and had no friends or family here to live with my soon to be husband and people told me i was crazy and although I miss my family I have never been more content and happy in my life.







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